Wednesday, January 9, 2013

why hello there 2013! you're lookin' mighty fine...

i am so happy to welcome 2013.
i think know that this is going to be a great year.
we went to china town in la with my mom, brother, sister in-law and all the big-littles and little ones. we had dim-sum and walked around china town for awhile, made wishes in the fountain and the kids rode on little rides.
it was such a fun way to bring in a new year, a tradition i'd like to start from now on.
i love my boys.
i am so incredibly lucky.

a lot has been going on, hence the lack of posts.
my grandma had her eye removed and is recovering just perfectly. can you believe that eye removal surgery is outpatient!? crazy right? my grandma has been so brave, i really can't imagine.
the boys and i took her on a ride yesterday and out for a quick shopping sesh at target, she did great and was so happy to be out of the house!

i know that it has only been 9 days, but this year is going great so far!
in previous posts i have talked about how negative and down i have been, which isn't the "normal" me but i've  thought it's been pretty normal considering all of the outside factors and everything i have been going through. i have been trying so hard to stay positive and it has just felt like everything from my emotions to daily chores just slips through my hands. i haven't been totally present for wyatt, i've been lagging in almost every area of my life and easy daily tasks have been difficult to accomplish, so i made the decision to talk to my doctor.
 i've been struggling lately and i asked for help and it feels amazing.

turns out ppd totally snuck up on me. it didn't feel like depression, it felt more like everyone was stupid and annoying and out to get me! i felt like my life was unmanageable and pointless.
i feel great now, night and day difference because of the medication. my doctor was great about finding something that worked for me, although there weren't many options because i am nursing and didn't want to supplement or stop.
i had such shame attached to the ppd and i think that's why i didn't see my doctor sooner.
i wanted to say something because i don't think there is anything wrong with it, there shouldn't be any shame associated with it. if we have a headache we normally fix it by taking tylenol or if a light bulb burns out in our house we replace it with another light bulb. i just replaced my light bulb, that's all. 

i have noticed a huge difference in wyatt. i am sure a lot of it has to do with my change, i feel back to normal and i know he picks up on my every mood. he has been perfect lately.
he has been getting less sugar and more praise!
wy and i decided in 2013 we were going to be good and practice kindness, so far so good!
i really am excited, i feel like i just got out of a thick fog. i'm excited to get back to life :)
my new years resolution is to be present, to show up for life. here we go!

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