My sister told me today that I am negative. She didn't just randomly unveil her opinions on my emotional state, we were discussing another issue.
I think that I've been pretty open about everything I am going through. I have felt negative but I am also trying to change this, I definitely am working on this and I am more productive some days than others. I don't doubt that she thinks that I am negative but it didn't come from a place of concern or love, it was included in a short list of reasons of why it might make it hard to be around me.
I own it. I'm owning all of it. I have been negative lately, and positive and happy and sad, mad and motivated, all of it. I've been openly talking about being sad (mad, angry, disgusted, etc.) about the Doug situation, being a single mother, my situation, yeah... pretty much all of it. I know I need to move forward I get that. I do. I totally get that.
She says I need to start "working through" my issues instead of just moving on. I know I have displaced emotions right now, I'm finding solutions. I've been negative lately but this isn't what it was about.
I will continue to write about what happens to me and what I go through because when I write everything makes more sense to me in my own head. My experiences and my interactions with people are a part of me, I learn from all of it, heck, I might even consider some of this "working through" my problems. My articulations, thoughts, explanations, choice of delivery all happens to be public at this time in my life, I'm sure it won't be that way for ever.
I am sorry if my negativity has offended anyone or made it hard to be around me.