Thursday, December 13, 2012

time is flyin'

hello handsome
owen got his shots.
what a trooper. wyatt was such a big helper, he rocked at helping out!
the medical assistant at his doctor's office loves wy and asked him to help her, he felt like a such a big brother. she gave him a bunch of stickers and we went home and he shared owen's story with everyone.
owen weighed 15lbs6ounces putting him in the 90th percentile for weight and 70th for height. short and stalky, what a ham bone. he slept most of tuesday.
while we were at the doctors office i talked to the pediatrician about wyatt. 
i told him everything that i have been experiencing with wyatt, all of the 40 minute long tantrums, the spitting, the undressing in my brother's front yard, the unbuckling of his seat belt, the yelling horrible things and the peditrician replied, "he's three. there is no reason to label anyone unless their actions, which are caused by a condition, are truly effecting their life in a negative way."
his example was him self.
he said that he has ocd tendencies, which is very different than actually having ocd.
he said while he is at home he might run upstairs to check that he hasn't left the iron on, and that he might do this a couple of times before he leaves the house, but once he does leave the house, although he may think about the iron he doesn't actually turn his car around to check and it does not make him late to work and it doesn't affect his job or marriage or how he parents his children. therefore he is not ocd.


i told him about wyatt's long tantrums and he asked me if i give them any attention at all, during or after.  well of course i do! i guess that is where i might be going wrong? 
he says that i should tell wyatt that it is not ok and then put him in a safe spot where he can finish his tantrum with no audience, no reaction, nothing and when he is finished to answer with something short, like "are you ready to listen?" or "are you feeling like you would like to use your words to better explain how you are feeling now that you aren't so upset?".
rather than talking about the actual tantrum, to just move forward, don't give him attention for negative actions.
ok i can do this. 

he says he doesn't think he is adhd and that you have no way of knowing until grade school age. he said that you could label most people today as adhd.
you see i had this label growing up, i had to attend extra classes in elementary school and i had extra help in class. even as an adult i can barely sit down to write this, i take breaks in between paragraphs and picture posting, i know how it feels and how frustrated people get with me because i can't hold onto a thought. i don't want wyatt to go through that. i also don't want to medicate him without trying everything else first.
his doctor said that i can try changing his diet, which i'll do for a day and then i'll give into his cute please-mom-i-want-a-cake-pop face. he told me to be consistent, cut down on his stimulation, aka tv time and that sort of thing and do more physical activities and more one on one time.
ok doable. done. doing it.

it's about progress not perfection, and i am definitely progressing in the parenting department. i hope.
hey bed time was a success tonight! that makes me one happy mom.
i've been really feeling being a single mom lately. 
it's hard. i'm not going to lie. 
owen didn't want to be set down for a second today and when he finally fell asleep in the car, i left him in his car-seat and sat right outside of the car and made oliver and wyatt play outside. luckily they enjoyed the outside time. i just needed a break. 
sometimes i think to myself, why didn't i work things out with doug? and then i remember, oh yeah because he was a jerk! duhhh! if he hadn't been an alcoholic, womanizer, mean, and unloving person to wyatt maybe things would have worked out, but they didn't. oh well. 
some days i feel empowered and strong. today is not one of those days. 

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