wedding bells.

thank god wedding bells are not ringing today.
today was supposed to be the day i married doug, and all i can think about is how thankful i am that that is not happening.

don't hear me wrong, marriage, the ring, the happily ever after all sounds amazing, i'm just happy i am not marrying doug. he is the only part of that equation that just didn't work.

i had my colors all picked out, i had bought all the wedding magazines and wedding planners you could think of, i had pinned everything i dreamed about for years onto a little pin board designated just for this special day, and my sister and i had sketched what the center pieces on the table would look like.

December 21, 2012 at 7:30... tonight. wow.
the entire time i was planning my wedding i had this rock in the pit of my stomach, maybe fear, this little voice in my head that was screaming "stop!" and i kept ignoring it.

it wasn't until it was apparent that doug was a lying alcoholic and a terrible womanizer that i finally heard the voice, though this time the voice was coming out of my own mouth and it was directed right at doug. for everything, for his lying and for his arrogance, for his inability to feel sorry or remorse, for his anger and unkindness to wyatt, for going back to another woman who he had already been through this same exact situation with, for his cheating. he's all around a crappy human being and you know what?
it's not my problem!
 i can totally let it all go because it no longer is my problem to deal with.

thank god there are no wedding bells for me today.
i am truly a lucky girl.

this is all i need right now.
i am thankful that today is here and everyone in my life is happy and healthy.

let the baking begin!!!