baby bump...

This weekend...

Wyatt woke up grumpy yesterday morning, he quickly forgot exactly what it was that was making him feel this way and turned it around, but his grumpiness peeked through throughout the day. 
Yesterday we went out to dinner with papa and nana and then to the beach. We walked around on the sand and then rode the ferry to Balboa Island for ice cream and then on the way home we detoured and took a drive down the "frog rode". It was a fun evening.


almost 30 weeks!

 at the beach....

I just realized that we (even though it feels like just me) are having a baby in 10weeks! I don't think I'm prepared. With Wyatt I couldn't wait to have him here and even though I want to meet this little guy really bad I could still use an extra month to prepare and prepare Wyatt for brotherhood! But... God decided to give me only 9months so I guess that will have to do! A little over 2 months to go... Ahhhh!

I'm in the final stages of being satisfied with Wy's room... I'll post pictures when I feel it's ready for public viewing! I'm working on my room too, getting ready for baby. It's kind of nice being able to decorate the way I want to without Doug's opinion. He had a strong opinion over everything and I'm almost positive his opinions are more of a form of stubbornness and a way to disagree than an actual preference on how he wanted something. I'm a firm believer in (my own version) of attachment parenting and Doug thought the whole things was STUPID, he thought the baby's co-sleeper should only be in our room for 3months tops. I know a lot of people would agree but I don't, and that's not what I wanted for my baby.

I hope we are able to parent together nicely but separately, if that makes any sense at all. I think boys should be raised just as girls are, with love and warmth and the reassurance that it is OK to cry if you fall down and get hurt. Doug was trying so hard to "tough-in" Wyatt up and I want Wyatt to have no shame to ever feel feelings no matter what other people think or what society's "guidelines" are on who can feel what feelings. I think gender roles are ridiculous, I know biologically we are born into certain roles but to tell a little boy to "shake it off" while is knee is scraped up from a fall? I think it's mean.
Enough on my parenting beliefs. We are in the works of planning a fun Sunday.
Enjoy.

let it out....

Made a Costco trip this morning with Wy and Papa Gordie... didn't get much but ate a lot of samples.

I had to go to Stanbridge today to return my books... what a fiasco!
Holy moly. 

I talked to someone over the phone last week who told me I could return them, even though I had registered them, she said "not a problem!". Today was a different story. 

First off I'm hormonal.... like seriously hormonal. I cry over commercials, they don't even have to be sappy to get my tears going just a tad bit sentimental and I'm a waterfall. 

Ok. Wyatt and I take my books back and when we get there they tell me I can't return them. 

Ummm hello?! Are you kidding me?

The lady who was helping had a thick accent  and I couldn't understand her at all. I'm guessing they put her in that position so people would get so frustrated they'd say forget it keep my money! I would possibly bet up to 15$ that she was hired to frustrate and discourage people. I swear after twenty minutes of "excuse me? one more time"  I wanted to GIVE UP, but I didn't. She was "that lady" that would just reply to the question with a smile. Seriously, I asked you a question can you give me an answer?

Anyways... it was awkward and frustrating  but eventually they took my books back. 

I cried. during the whole thing. 

I hate crying.  I wanted to be angry and show them that they made me mad but instead I just came across as a crier. Now they think I cry over everything, like I'm a big baby.

Oh well I won. And yes, because in this situation is was about winning. It was about proving that they were dishonest and wrong and I won. 

Wyatt is a ham... I'm sure you couldn't have guessed that on your own.

 summer survival guide; green straw, check. Hat, check.

 Franny with her dog... she's awfully cute when she's not so annoying.

Baby clothes from my sister-in-law. I got a lot of Wyatt's old clothes back, even the clothes that Wyatt had from Oliver's hand me downs... talk about sentimental. My throat hurt from holding in the tears.
Wyatt was a big baby, 8lbs 11ounces and his baby clothes looked so itsy bitsy, it's funny that even big babies look so little. Awwww little baby.

 If you knew me at all you'd find the humor in this. I am possibly one of the meanest drunks ever. I am rude and intolerable to be around. There are some girls who get drunk and walk like t-rexs, oh c'mon you know exactly what I'm talking about. Normally they are the girls in heels who are so far away from the ground that they hold their hands in this awkward position in hopes that it will balnce them. That's not me. Then there are the girls who think they look sexy and have smeard makeup and talk out of the side of their mouths, maybe me a little bit. Mostly I'm that girl that goes off someone for nothing, no reason except to make my self unlikeable and set my self up for an embarrassing morning. That's why I don't drink.

 Penny painting Wy's face.
Face paints 10$ at Walmart.

 wrapped them up in package wrapping, they loved it even though it was incredibly weird.

 My weird little man painting.

I can't believe tomorrow is the 4th of July. We don't have a lot planned. Definitely a BBQ with nana and papa Gordie, maybe fireworks at my sister's house. It should be mellow and relaxing.

happy 4th to all!!

what the H-E- double L?!

Last Friday I was in the emergency room for extremely horrible back pain.
I don't like to admit when i'm in pain, i know it's an unhealthy trait but I cringe at any sign of weakness.
Well... the pain got so bad that I finally admitted to it and my mom made me call my doctor.

Of course with my luck, my doctor had left on vacation and was out of the office early so I had to talk to the doctor on call who didn't know he was on call and he advised me to go to the emergency room.
They ran all of these test, sent me in for ultra sounds and after almost 4 hours they sent me home. Couldn't find any reason why I would be in so much pain and being pregnant they really couldn't give me anything anyways.

I followed up this week with my (substitute) doctor and she said I have sciatica and possibly a big baby who is killing my back. Bottom line she suggested that I take a medical leave of absence from school until after the baby is born. i called my school all day Saturday and Monday to ask what they suggest I do. They didn't call me back until Tuesday and told me that I should have withdrawn by Monday.

WTF?!

Are you kidding me? If you had been in my shoes you would see how incredibly intentional this all seemed. After two days of not backing down and proving that I had called 14x they finally let me withdrawal without any problems (and no money owed). Thank God.... seriously... thank God!

Back to the drawing board.

Sometimes I feel so stupid. I really have nothing to show for. Two illegitimate babies (who I adore with all my heart) no college degree, no relationship, living with mom again, and no plan. All embarrassing but totally true. I imagined a happy life with Doug and our children and things went in a different direction. I hope we can be friends, but friendships take time. Right?

What's the deal? I need to find my motivation. I was pretty excited about the LVN program but now I'm rethinking everything... do I really want to go into that much debt? I really need to figure life out... quickly rather than slowly. 

Wyatt and are baking an apple pie today... the house smells amazing. 

 

Martha Stewart .... beginner level 1

 

knotts berry farm with the girls....

  same day swim lessons and then Wahoo's with papa Gordie....

 

ok...

almost 29 weeks... I've gained about 30lbs. I'm 5'10 and 1/2 and I weighed about 155lbs when I found out that I was pregnant, which for me is a low weight. When I weigh 150 I look skinny. By  the time I found a new ob-gyn I weighed 165... so I just started counting from there! Technically I've gained more than 30lbs but let's just keep it simple... mmmkay? :) alright I'll tell but shhhhh! I weigh 189. WOWZERS.

 

I'm trying so hard not to complain but between heartburn, sciatica, back pains, swollen feet and leg cramps I feel like I am falling apart.  My pregnancy with Wy was easy, I wish I hadn't complained the whole time!

 

is summer over yet?