baby story... part 2

Ok so my mom and I were off to the hospital!
We entered through the emergency room and they took us up to labor and delivery.
It was exciting to know that we were staying, this was it!
I got checked in and put in a room, instantly my contractions started intensifying!
My nurse came in and checked me and I was about 3 centimeters dilated, for laboring all day and the entire night before I was a little bummed, only 3 centimeters? 
Really?
My doctor wasn't on call and I was scared. Only a few weeks before I didn't want him looking at my hoo-ha and now I only wanted him! The doctor on call was close to 80, tall, not very sociable. I crossed him in the hallway while I was walking my baby out me and he looked stern and serious. What I didn't know then was that I had one of the most experienced doctors at St. Joseph's hospital, he used old school techniques before rushing you off to the OR, and now I am thankful for that.

I decided to hold off on the epidural, even though I had promised my grandma that I would have one. This was her eighth great-grandchild and she had never seen a birth, she wasn't even present for her own because they gassed her back then. I didn't want things to slow down so opted out of the epidural, for awhile at least.
The further into this whole labor thing I got, I started questioning the epidural at all.
Did I really NEED it? Was I going to be upset if this was my last baby and I wasn't entirely present both mentally and physically for this birth?
What I was feeling with each contraction, getting stronger and closer together, was this intense feeling of empowerment and control.
Feeling my body work in a way that I've never felt before, it was amazing, yes painful of course but beautiful and wonderful. I could feel everything.

I had never taken any class on natural child birth, I had just been reading and asking my mom and sister in-law Kellie a million questions. Honestly if it hadn't been for Kellie I probably would have never even considered a natural child birth.
I mean C'mon?!
I take tylonal for my headaches, why the heck wouldn't I take something while I pushed a watermelon sized human out of my privates?!
The weeks prior when I was at my brother's house, I was amazed and intrigued by Kellie's birth story with my nephew Ezra. She did it all natural and at home, talk about intense. I wanted Kellie there so bad but my labor went into overdrive and they were only in valley by the time I started to push.
Anyways back to me... :)

waiting for another contraction

contraction face

so here I am now 8 centimeters and totally in control of my contractions, I was so proud of my self. My nurse said this was as bad as it will get, so I kept going.
I lasted about ten more minutes and then asked for the epidural but the anesthesiologist was in a c-section!
Holy crap, I only had one choice and that was to finish what I had started!
Around 5am I was dilated and ready to push.
It took me awhile to get the hang of the pushing. Feeling everything was so intense, and then the pain intensified as the baby got closer. At one point I yelled "I can't do this anymore! just reach up there and get the baby!" but the doctor totally didn't go for it.
I pushed for about an hour, but that seemed like 5 days.
There were noises coming out of me that I had never heard before, I didn't know I was capable of this! I sounded like a viking man killing a beast while getting my toes chopped off.
It was horrible sounding but I couldn't stop.
Then they saw the head and I got it together and started pushing like a mad woman and then the doctor yelled stop! STOP? Wait what?  Ok... Let me explain something to you, when you have a baby coming out of your vagina, stopping is close to impossible, but obviously my doctor wouldn't have a clue being a man and all.
Then we got back into the game, he yelled to up the pitocin and realized there was none and there was panic on his face, I was going to do whatever he told me to do. A nurse rushed in and took over for my mom, she grabbed my leg and the bed tilted back. it was the most awkward position ever, how was I going to push a baby out while my knees were at my ears and my butt was pointed up and then BAM! Holy shit the doctors hands were inside of me turning and maneuvering my baby out of me and I could feel it all!!! I felt like I was being ripped open and then in an instant there he was.
At 6:21am Monday, September 10th Owen was born weighing 8lb15ounces and 21 inches long. He had a full head of dark hair and a huge body and he was amazing.

What NO ONE talks about when you have a natural child birth is the after birth. I can see as how this wouldn't be much of a topic to bring up having experienced this now, but you need to know! It was horrible. You have to push the placenta out and then if you have a crazy doctor like I did, you feel him stitching you up!? Ok what the heck, I put my foot down and he novocaine'd it and went on his way. The after birth totally sucks, you have this beautiful baby on your chest but yet you're still working! No one warned me about that, but now I know.

I didn't realize until after Owen was born at how serious the problem was, his shoulders had gotten stuck and the doctor literally had to reach in there and get him out. So I gave birth to an almost 9lb baby and a pair of man hands, pretty much. I have to say over all it was beautiful and amazing (more so after it's all over). My body did what is was designed to do and I was present for all of it, quadruple chins and all, and it was truly amazing.

 

and then we went home...

I'm so in love with both of my boys.
More posts will come, eventually. I'm too busy falling more and more in love :)

A huge thank you to my mom, sister and grandma. Thank you for all of your encouragement, love and support during and after! You were all wonderful labor coaches and I am thankful to have had you women there.

a baby story.... part 1

I was posting on Sunday evening about how I was experiencing cramping and contractions all day and then I walked away from the computer and decided to save it for Monday.
I had hoped all that cramping was something real and not just me being overly dramatic.
It started with a gross amount of mucous, with a brown tinge on Saturday morning.
I of course thought something was terribly wrong with either me or baby so I called my mom, sister Lacy, sister in-law Kellie, and grandma who all told me it was very normal, it was just the mucous plug.
EWWWW.

Was this beginning of labor?
Holy shit!
Has the time come!?

I immediately got onto the world wide web and started searching, for what I wasn't exactly sure of, but I was searching like a mad woman.
I guess maybe I was searching for a sure sign that I was in labor but all I found were maybes.
I wanted to know, but now I know that you never know until you know for sure and even when you know for sure, you really don't know for sure until after you know. Ya know? :)

So... Saturday was a bust. 
Nothing really happened except for all that gross mucous, and a little cramping here and there.
So we went to "Messy Church" with Ma and Pa and Penny and Oliver. It's an Episcopal church and it's very relaxed and liberal. The service was super cute and the kids had fun. I'd like to find a church similar to that for myself and the boys.
Anyways while we there everyone in the world commented on how big, low,huge, cute, uncomfortable I looked and so and so on.
What do you say to those kind of comments? Thank you? HAHAHA
My grandma had her priest lay hands on baby Owen, and oh my goodness did she say the prettiest prayer ever and totally mentioned to ask God for Owen to come quickly! Bonus!
We got home and went on a long walk with Papa Gordie and Penny. We walked for almost 2 hours stopping here and there, I was experiencing a lot of contractions while walking, like very strong braxton hicks.

4:23 am
9/9/12
woke up with painful contractions that lasted for about 30 seconds and were anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes apart, this went on all day Sunday. We went to breakfast with Papa Gordie and then out to Irvine park and walked around there.
My contractions would get so painful that I couldn't walk but they were still so far apart.
This went on all day!
3pm
my contractions were about 9 to 8 minutes apart for about an hour
5 pm 
went on a walk with my grandpa and Wy, had lots of contractions!
the contractions still weren't close enough to call it labor though (or so I thought!)
Wyatt and I played in the front yard for along time. We jumped on the little trampoline, played catch and kick ball.
My contractions spaced out again to about 30 minutes.
9pm
then right before bed everything pretty much came to a stop. BUMMER.
11:30pm
my water broke!!!

I walked around the house awhile, made sure everything was packed, got Wyatt up to go to Gordie's house, changed my pants like 5 times! Holy smokes! I went through like 3 bath towels, 5 pairs of pants, and 5 pads! My water POURED out! It was crazy.
I was so so so excited that my water broke, it was like the movies! I'm so happy I got to experience that, it was oddly amazing.
My sister and grandma came over to meet up and create a game plan. My sister in-law and brother had just gotten the kids to sleep so they were planning on leaving Lompoc around 3:30am. By the time my mom and I left for the hospital it was about 12:30 am and we were off to meet Owen!  Woooohooo!

read part 2 here

(almost) 39 weeks

39 weeks on Tuesday... I jumped the gun ok!?
cut me some slack, I'm getting excited.
I had a prenatal massage today, it was amazing.
I am so over feeling huge, hurt and tired. I know I'll be tired in a few weeks for different reasons but at least I wont hurt! Well I'll hurt in the sense that my baby just came out of me I know, but at least my back will feel better! :)
I'm trying to enjoy Wyatt's last few days of being an only child, but he's acting all kinds of crazy again! He knocked over the kitchen trash can this morning, out of anger!  It was a disaster. He was a nut today, THANK GOD that Starbucks has their fall drinks out again.
That little green straw can always put a smile on my face.
Another disaster was dying my hair blonde.
It was Orange for a day. Then I did an ash level 8 blonde... and then I had GREY hair.
I'm not joking. It was grey.
Better grey than orange, much easier to fix, so I hear.
Now it's a golden blonde.
Now I'm blonde and broke.
Pictures later, I have to go out and buy new makeup now. great.
hahahahahahahahaha :)

Our A.C. went out.
It died. It's a goner. Packed it's bags and left us.
This weekend will be hell.
I am so not looking forward to it.
Wish me luck.
My mom is gone this weekend, It will be nice to have some space from each other.
She was definitely getting sick of Wyatt and I.
Time apart is good :)

another list...

things I think I know I'll need when I get home from the hospital... :)

• nursing pillow
• wash cloths
• a lot of little baby clothes
• hand sanitizer
• blankets for swaddeling
• pacifiers
• co-sleeper
• baby swing
• nursing bra
• nursing tank
• comfy (cute) clothes
• pads that aren't diaper sized
• nursing pads
• baby wrap
• lanolin oil
• nursing cover
• butt paste
• extra batteries for the camera :)

baby bump...

Nesting like a bird on crack!

I haven't been able to put the cleaning products down today. 

Holy Cow. 

I cleaned the windows, inside and out

deep cleaned every corner of the kitchen

dusted almost every surface imaginable

vacuumed every inch of carpet, even behind the couches

I am re-washing baby things, because I'm crazy! (you know this)

cleaned off the front porch

laundry

literally scrubbed the kitchen floor and then mopped it

got my car washed and filled it up with gas....

Now what?

Ok baby I'm ready! 

packing for the hospital... I'm ready!

 I am sooooo ready for you baby! 

This back pain is killing. I'm hoping I go into labor REAL QUICK...

Anytime now baby, I'm ready!

(hint! hint!) 

Ok.

So this is my check list on what to bring for a hospital delivery...

In my hospital bag...

• one cute and comfy outfit. soft pants, nursing top and a cover up aka sweater, wrap or robe because it can be cold in a hospital. I wasn't at the hospital longer than 24hrs so I only needed one outfit and honestly I stayed in my hospital gown for a long time! But it's nice to have something cute to cover up with while breastfeeding as people start showing up to meet baby.
•  big undies. The hospital I deliver in gives you about everything imaginable (including these amazing mesh underwear that cover every inch of you, believe me you'll love them, especially when you're wearing a diaper sized pad and believe me you'll need one.

• socks and slippers. I'm not too much of a sock fan but when you wake up in the night to pee or walk around with your brand new baby, the cold hospital floor isn't very inviting. Plus if you have worked in a hospital or lab you've seen the things that fall on those floors, and believe me even bleach can't erase the images, even if it cleans it all up!
• camera
• phone-phone numbers. What's smart is to make a group of connections before going to the hospital so you can easily send out one group text to the people who want to know every detail. You know that way you aren't sending pictures, labor updates or birth announcements to random people!

 

In my cosmetic bag....

• deodorant- a must. My delivery with Wyatt wasn't a long one and I only pushed for about 30 minutes at the most, but I sweated a lot!
• chapstick-for labor and after
• mints or candies-for labor
• hair ties-for labor and for after, these little suckers are always walking off when they are most needed. Also a head band was helpful.
• hydrating stick- or lotion for before, after, or even in between. Labor takes a lot out of you and your skin!
• essential oils- to keep calm and carry on!! (and because they smell good!)
• hair brush- looking back in pictures my hair was a mess! 
• tooth brush and toothpaste
• water free face wipes-easiest way to wash your face.
• body wash- like I mentioned I wasn't at the hospital for very long but after giving birth I definitely felt the need to wash my body. I have friends who waited to get home to shower and I can't imagine going that long... Ewwww. Hello!? You just gave birth, go wash your self off!
• dry shampoo-this time it's on my list! I wanted to shower after I had Wyatt but I didn't feel like drying my hair and I have crazy hair, so I had to deal with it. This time I'm going to be easy with myself and use dry shampoo.
• pads-hospitals normally supply you with everything but sometimes you just want a smaller pad, nothing like feeling like you have diaper butt leaving the hospital with your new bundle of joy, who has a diaper butt.
• make up- stick to the basics... tinted moisturizer, powder, mascara, blush and some gloss. 
• ask for ice chips and cold wash cloths during labor! 

Giving birth isn't a beauty contest! 

Focus on your baby not what your blog readers will think of as they look through your "birth story"!
 

 In the baby bag...

 

Like I've been telling you, the hospital pretty much gives you EVERYTHING you need for baby.  

With that being said these are some things you might want/NEED of your own...

• homecoming outfit-long sleeve onesies, blanket/ wearable blanket for the hospital.
• a hat- the hospital I go to only gives hats for preemies.
• pacifiers-you never know what brand your baby will like so when I registered, I registered for a few different brands. I actually didn't end up giving Wyatt one for a few days because I wanted to focus on breastfeeding.
• diapers-If you have a preference, like I said the hospital will supply these.
• baby body wash- they will supply this for the baby's first bath normally but if you want a specific brand or smell, or even an organic wash I suggest bringing your own.  
• socks
• mittens- so baby doesn't scratch himself.
• hand sanitizer- for the baby's guests. Soap and hot water is always best because not only does it kill a lot of the germs but it also gets rid of dirt, while the hand sanitizer just kills the germs (and yucky viruses) and moves the dirt around, so I suggest nicely telling everyone to do both before handling baby.  

That's about it. 

That's my opinion and what I think I need for the hospital and what I needed for my hospital visit with Wyatt. 

Even though when I had Wyatt, I forgot everything I needed or thought I needed, it ended up totally not being a big deal. The hospital has everything you  NEED except for a car seat and clothes to bring baby home, so seriously pack light and enjoy every second. 

Whether it's your first baby or your fourth, each experience is new and magical.

Wyatt didn't care that I forgot everything during the event of his birth. :)

 

Just a normal Thursday...

Only 4 more weeks! 

Can't believe 8 months has gone by so fast.

I know the next 4 weeks will move in SLOW motion.

I'm finally prepared... almost. 

Here is my photo shoot with Wyatt.

(I keep forgetting that my awesome cool camera is out of batteries.

So I keep using my phone for everything... not bad but I really need to

remember those double As!)

 seriously? this kid is amazing.

I used this website to edit my photos.
After Picnic closed I was so sad, but I love love this photo editing website even more!
Check it out.

week 33

I am 33 weeks pregnant!

It's been the fastest pregnancy ever, especially considering that I found out when I was only 5 weeks pregnant. The doctor actually told me to be on alert for an ectopic pregnancy because they couldn't see anything on the ultra sound. So fast forward 28 weeks later and here I am. I have a belly the size of a beach ball, my back aches, I have an extra 50lbs keeping me company, and my feet are swollen but hey my skin looks good! No complaining!

I don't know if I went into too much detail over my moods lately but I was down for awhile. Actually a long while to be honest. 

I'm happy I have Wyatt and my nieces and nephew who really distracted me from this depression. I have felt bummed about how Doug has acted through this pregnancy, truly proving to me that zebras don't ever lose their stripes. In other words having a "sober" moment didn't really do him any good. It's so difficult to see other people go through these life changing experiences and get absolutely NOTHING out of them. 

Sobriety has really changed who I am. I'm not saying that I'm a saint, but I think I have gained a lot out of it and not because I'm "different" but because I was willing. Aside from the sobriety I think that I'm realizing that some people are just not nice people. 

Whether they want to be mean and moral-less or it is purely a case of nature vs nurture is another question. 

 VENTING AHEAD! (detour if you don't want to hear it!)

In Doug's case I believe strongly that it was and is nurture. 

His father is the same way. They've all been passed down this oil company from generation to generation, not having to work at all and I think with that company came pride, entitlement, and a horrible chauvinistic mentality. It comes down to the fact that Doug really does nothing wrong (or at least he'd like to think this is true), he's arrogant, he says mean things that you wouldn't say to people. You know, the type of things that are only said to really hit below the belt and cause pain. He acts this way and then is shocked when I don't want to see him. 

I told him the other day that friends aren't mean to each other, they support each other and encourage each other and love each other, I don't allow my friends to treat me like crap, therefor he is not my friend. I really don't think he sees things as others do, he is so blinded by his defensiveness and ego that there is no room for him to grow at all.

This has been a hard pregnancy just because the lack of friends. 

My friend Kathleen has been wonderful, which honestly has surprised me the most. She's a younger single, hard working, party girl and she has totally supported me and been there for me from the second I found out I was pregnant, engaged, planning a wedding, breaking up, moving back in with my mom and blah blah blah. She gets me out of the house and really doesn't allow me to give my self a pitty party but listens with open ears. I am thankful for her.

My sister has been going through yoga teacher training and that has taken a lot of her time, and honesty she doesn't ask me to hang out that often aside from the busy yoga schedule. I stopped asking her to do things  in hopes that she would realize I was the one always trying to get together and I don't think she got the message (I know it sounds juvenile), either that or she just really doesn't want to hang out with me.

I'm thankful for my mom and Gordie, I'd be so sad without them, and really bored!

Our past few days....

cuddle time with Pa

 Uncle Matt's work

 We went to the fair again with PaPa.

Face painting is serious business.

 big boy naps, potty trained... what else could I ask for?!

 water colors...

 

new sprinkler from Ma

putting baby in a corner!

Not literally!!

  geez...

I'm getting the baby's area (little room) ready, starting to wash clothes and register-all that good stuff.

I've been in slow motion with this pregnancy. 

I'm excited to meet this baby but I feel if maybe I take my time, time will move slower. 

ummm? NOT SO MUCH. 

I know I know, it doesn't make sense. 

It's as you would imagine, I'm in fact running out of time. 

ahhhhhhhhhh!

Pictures to follow soon, well, whenever I get my butt in gear!

--------------------------------------------

oh so funny...

Wyatt has been saying THE funniest things ever this week.

His word of the week is "frickin". 
Obviously he has gotten this glorious word from his dear uncle Matt. 

He said, "mommy, did you know I frickin love you?" 

My heart melted, as horrible as it is that he used the PG version of the "F bomb". 

Oh my goodness. 

Today I said "ouch the baby keeps kicking me!"

Wyatt responded by suggesting that we give the baby medicine.

I love this guy so "frickin" much it hurts!

Am I going to have enough love in me to love another little boy?

What if he's not as cute?

What if he's not as smart?

What if?

Everyone says I'm totally normal for having these doubts, but motherly love is so powerful that no matter what, I will be in love with this baby. Deep down I know I will be in love with this baby but when I'm with Wyatt it's hard to imagine. I feel like I will have to share my love and I know that's not the case, God just gives you more love to use. 

My mom reminded me the other day that when I was pregnant with Wyatt, I feared that I wouldn't love him as much as Brody, my dog. That obviously was not the case. :)